Stan’s Obligatory Blog

Today was the final stage of the Tour of California. We had gone last year and enjoyed it, so I took Lucinda down to Long Beach to see the race.

We got there just as the main event was starting. We found a nice spot with a concrete barrier to sit on, and we watched the race for a few laps. While we were there, we saw Vikki from my office. We all thought that was funny, since with the crowds there, it’s like seeing someone you know at Woodstock. So she took our picture before going back to her friends.

A little while later, we walked up to closer to the finish line and crossed over to the center divider of the road. That way we were able to see the racers twice on each lap. There was a booth where people could make their own signs to hold up for the racers, and we saw a girl holding a sign that said, “Go Tour of Calaifornia”. And people have the nerve to say the schools here are no good.

The end of the race was very exciting. The pack caught the breakaway at 1/2 lap to go, and then it came down to a pack sprint, which is always entertaining. We didn’t see who won, but that didn’t matter. It was still a fun time.

Last year, Cathy found a little article in the Auto Club magazine about a school near San Francisco that trains guide dogs for the blind. It said that they had an open house that we could visit. She loves dogs, and she wanted to take a trip up there to go to it. I thought that surely in a city the size of Los Angeles, there must be something comparable. So I went looking, and found Guide Dogs of America. It’s in Sylmar in the northeast corner of the San Fernando Valley.

They have a graduation and open house every three months there, so we made plans to go to one. And today was the day.

The graduation involved the class of dogs that are being given to their new masters, as well as the people who fostered the dogs as puppies. The puppy raisers do the basic training and socialization of the dogs, and then some specialized trainers teach the dog how to be a guide dog before they are matched up with blind people in need of dogs. It’s a pretty amazing process, and it was very obvious that the blind people were very happy to have the dogs to help them. Apparently, the entire service is free to the blind, and it’s largely supported by donations and volunteers.

We got to meet a lot of dogs in training. The foster families are encouraged to bring them to events like these so that they can get used to the environment. We also got some information about possibly having them do a presentation at Lucinda’s school, and also how to sign up to foster a puppy. We may or may not do that soon, but we probably will some day.

Tonight we went over to West Hollywood to see Varla Jean Merman’s latest show, “Varla Jean Merman is Anatomically Incorrect”. The show was at Ultra Suede, which gave us a strange sense of deja vu, since we went there to see a comic cabaret show with the Amazing Pink Things back in 1987. But the inside had been completely redone, and looked totally different.

We met another couple in line who were also big Varla fans, so we joined up to take one of the tables right up by the stage. They have been going to see Varla for longer than we have, and they even visited Jeffery in New Orleans, which puts them easily in the Varla-inner-circle. We were suitably in awe.

When the show started, Varla came out in fine form. She sang and danced, and also had video to go with the song. She sang “Tequila Make My Clothes Fall Off”, which was done with the special Varla touch.

The theme of the show was the human body and all its parts. Varla did a parody of “Hair” about feet. That was pretty hilarious.

The old-time Varla fans also got to enjoy a couple of her classics. She sang “Talk to the Genitals” as part of the show, and also did her “Schoolhouse Rock” medley as an encore. That was a treat, even though she didn’t do “Dream a Little Dream of Cheese” and eat the Cheez-Wiz.

The finale for the show found Varla in a giant squirrel costume and holding a pair of giant acorns. The song was about how memories are like nuts that we squirrel away in our heads. It was deliciously goofy and very funny.

After the show, Varla was selling her new video collection, so we got a copy, and she signed it for us. Overall, it was a very fun evening.

Tonight we went to the Renberg Theater at the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center to see Tammy Faye Starlite’s Born Again Again! I’d seen a short review of her show recently, and it sounded like a hoot. She was described as being as “If John Waters and Pia Zadora had a love child”. It was also the first time we’d been to the Renberg to see someone other than Varla Jean Merman.

The show was a send-up of both country music radio and Christianity, and it was tremendously funny. The format of the show was the “KKOK Hoedown”, where Tammy was making a personal appearance on the radio show, being interviewed by the DJ, and singing songs for the listeners. She talked about her joy in being “born-again again”, and sang a rousing song:

“If you’re comin’ down sweet Jesus
won’t you come all over me!”

She also reminded us that “1 cross plus 3 nails equals 4-given”.

She told a story and sang a song about one of her many marriages. And we all sang along with her:

“Did I shave my vagina for this?”

But then she told us about her most recent marriage, and how she was “with child” again. She came out into the audience and had people put their hands on her stomach while singing “God Has Lodged a Tenant in My Uterus”.

This was all tremendously funny and entertaining.

Today I went out to the Los Angeles County Fairgrounds in Pomona for the winter edition of the Body Art Expo. I go to all the local tattoo conventions. I have a whole circle of friends there that I see nowhere else.

Today was a beautiful day, but chilly by SoCal standards. For a tattoo convention, this is a Bad Thing. The whole idea is to be warm and comfy so that everyone can show off their decorated skins. And that all breaks down when it’s cold.

Nevertheless, I soldiered on. I saw a bunch of my tattoo friends there, which was fun. I also met a woman with a trained rat on her shoulder. She said that it was a ‘service rat’ that would alert her to impending seizures. The rat had a little leash with a tag that identifed him as a service animal. That was the first time I’ve ever seen a non-dog service animal.

God’s Girls had a booth there. My friend Erica models for them. She wasn’t there, but I stopped in and talked to them a bit, so I thought I’d put in a plug for them here.

It was a fun day. I took some pictures. I visited with friends. Pictures are in my tattoo conventions gallery.

Today we took Lucinda out to Santa Monica to Magicopolis. They have an afternoon show on Saturdays.

Inside the theater, I was glad to see that the building had been retrofitted for seismic safety. And in between the steel beams, they had had various famous people sign their names on the bricks. That was kind of fun. David Bowie’s note was just behind our seats.

The show was a lot of fun. They did most of the standard magician’s tricks, but with their own spin. The show stars Steve Spill and his wife Bozena Sparrow, and part of the act centers on her being from Eastern Europe. In one bit, she comes out on stage with a box labeled “Acme” and talks in her fractured English about how she ordered a trick from Acme Magic. It is the ‘disappearing bandanna’, but then she pulls out a banana. She follows the intructions, folding it over and totally squishing it. Then she makes it disappear. This was a new twist on an old trick.

Overall, this show was a lot of fun. They also have a little magic shop in the front of the theater. Lucinda got a set of foam balls, complete with instructions on how to do a few tricks with them.

After the show let out, we decided to walk down to the beach. It was a nice day, and it was only a few blocks away. When we got there, Lucinda ran around in the surf and collected shells until the sun went down. Then, on the way out, we saw a seagull resting on the sand next to an empty malt-liquor can. We figured he was sleeping it off.

At the top of the bluff, I got a nice picture of the sunset over the beach. Then we went home. It’s days like this where I just marvel at how much I like living in Los Angeles. It’s really and truly my most favorite place.

Today we went down to Long Beach to see the Russian submarine and the Queen Mary. Cathy and I had been there to see the submarine once when Lucinda was a baby. Now that she’s big enough to climb through it, she wanted to see it. And we hadn’t been on the Queen Mary tour since 1988. When we got married, we spent our honeymoon playing tourist in Los Angeles.

The submarine is tied up next to the Queen Mary. There is a little building with an exhibit and gift shop by the entrance. They were playing Russian martial music, which the sign said they have available on CD. Just in case you’re missing the old days of the Soviet Union.

We took the tour through the submarine. Lucinda was amused at how small it was inside, but climbing through small spaces is easy for a kid.

After the submarine, we took the tour of the Queen Mary. It was interesting, although I kind of think the computer in the radio room was not original equipment.

We stopped for lunch at one of the onboard restaurants. They had had an exhibit of Hurrell glamour photographs of Hollywood stars from the 1930s on the walls. That was interesting, and it also fit with the whole art-deco theme on the Queen Mary.

Continuing the tour, we headed up to the bow. Lucinda was amazed at how heavy the anchor chain links were. We also saw a pelican flying among the seagulls overhead, which is a little unusual. Then we headed down to the engine room. I loved the 1930s control panels. We also saw the propeller, which was interesting, since it’s something that’s not normally visible on ship like this.

Of course, I also took a bunch of pictures of Lucinda. They are in her photo album.

I woke up early this morning to the sound of the B-2 bomber circling overhead. Normally, this might be cause for some alarm, but today it just meant that the Rose Parade was about to start.

Being an airplane geek, I got the ladder and climbed up on the roof for a better view. I got a pretty good shot of it when it made the turn at Colorado and Sierra Madre. The planes banked over towards my house, so I could see them pretty well, even if they were a mile away.

A bit later, we all walked down to watch part of the parade. As always, there was a tremendous crush of humanity there, and since I don’t like crowds, it was somewhat unpleasant. But it was still worth it to see the über-geeky Stormtroopers in the parade. I don’t really understand this, since the Stormtroopers were just about the least sympathetic characters in “Star Wars”. They were just anonymous agents of evil. It was also funny to see them in the park after the parade, eating In-N-Out burgers while still in costume.

We walked back home to see the horses. They always park the horse trailers in our neighborhood. Along the way we saw a guy shoveling horse shit off the street. I always marvel at how they manage to keep our streets pretty clean despite the number of horses.

On the way back to the house, we stopped to pet a llama. That was a new experience. Its fur was very soft.

Next, we walked up the street to where the horse trailers were parked. I had a bag of carrots, so Lucinda, Claire and Rose could have some treats for the horses. We got to pet the miniature horses from the “Petite Elite” group, which were all very cute.

We also visited with some of the other horse groups. The girls got to sit on top of one of the big horses so I could take pictures of them. We hung around the horses until the carrots were all gone.

It was a fun day.

Today we went over to West Hollywood to meet our old friend Jenny for lunch. She lives in London now, so we don’t get to see her very often.

We met at the French Market Place and had a major lunch feast that involved absolutely no turkey, which was very nice. Lucinda looked at the koi fish in the pond there, and we also browsed around in the shops for a bit.

After lunch, we headed down to Hancock Park to the Tar Pits and also the L.A. County Museum of Art for Magritte and Contemporary Art: The Treachery of Images. I always thought it was kind of funny that the art museum is at the tar pits. After all, ‘art’ and ‘tar’ are anagrams and all…

Lucinda had some fun playing around the tar pits. She climbed a tree and got some tar on her arm. As always, a visit to to the tar pits is just not complete unless she gets tar on herself. One of the pits was making big tar bubbles, which were kind of fun to watch. There was even a palm tree growing like a weed in the middle of one of the tar pits. We also saw some people playing croquet on the grass. Playing on the grass in that park is always a bit dicey, since you never know where there might be a new tar seep hidden in the grass.

After playing in the park, we went into the art museum for the Magritte exhibit. I’d seen some of Magritte’s work in art museums in New York when I was on a school field trip back in 1974 or so, and I like the surrealist style. So we went through the gallery and looked at the paintings. We even saw the two works that I remember seeing way back when. It was a lot of fun.

A few weeks ago, I saw a post on Needled about Andrew Krasnow who is an artist who works with human skin. And he was having an exhibit at a gallery right here in Hollywood. Needless to say, this sounded interesting, somewhat disturbing, and certainly something not to be missed.

So today was went over to Hollywood to the ADM Project gallery on Santa Monica Blvd. Appropriately enough, it was right across the street from Hollywood Forever Cemetery. It was a fairly small exhibit, but it was certainly unique.

Because of laws about human body parts, none of the art was for sale. But they were selling a poster of one of his flags, and also a fine-art photo print of “The Hollow Muscle”, which was a heart made out of skin. Also, the art is available for extended display. Sort of like a ‘lease’.

We’ve never seen anything else quite like it. And it was disturbing, in the way that good art should be. So we enjoyed it a lot.

The exhibit runs through December 14.